Gift Buying For Dummies

Donna and I were talking about getting gifts for each other. The kids were young and we hadn’t had our house very long so we mutually agreed to get each other gifts that we needed. Things for the house even! Oh boy, was I in for Lesson 101 about not taking your wife seriously when it comes to what kind of gifts to get her.

It was Donna’s birthday. I can show you the exact place she was sitting when she opened my wonderful gift. Donna is always most gracious, but when she opened it, she couldn’t contain her true feelings. There was a look of surprise, then fake surprise, disappointment, nausea, and a dab of disbelief, but not anger. It was kind of like holding a balloon while you let the air out of it – blaaah! I got this feeling like this may not have been a good gift idea.

So, let me ask you. We agreed to get gifts of things we needed around the house, right? She had mentioned several times that we needed a new shower head, right? OK, OK, your ahead of me already. You have an idea of what I got her, but I know what you’re thinking, ‘He wouldn’t have?’ Wrong!!

I thought she would be thrilled with this shiny, new shower head? Shiny plastic, it is!
“And look at this feature. It’s the budget model and it doesn’t use much water!” I said. “More than that, you don’t have to worry about bumping your head with one of those big 6″ diameter units. This one is only about 2 1/2″ in diameter and has at least six nozzles.” It had three adjustments; Miserly, More Miserly, Miserliest. Hey, what more could a girl ask for in a gift?

You guessed it. I couldn’t get myself out of this hole by digging it deeper – nope!
Well, even as slow as I am I was starting to, “get it”. Rewinding the scene in my mind I said to myself, ‘You big dummy. This is a fine mess I got myself into Ollie. How am I gonna get myself out of this stupid blunder?’

Click! An idea, to save my bacon popped into my mind. Donna and my birthdays are three weeks apart; mine comes after hers. We are the same age for that length of time. I’m older, so I’m supposed to be smarter – don’t say a word; I can hear what you’re thinking. So when it came my turn for a birthday, we celebrated two birthdays with birthday presents and all. Instead of giving Donna another birthday card I gave her an apology card. There, bacon saved! And yes, I gave her an appropriate gift – a bath mat…..I’m just kidding. I can’t remember what it was but it was appropriate.

So, any guys out there reading this, don’t, I say again, don’t believe your wife about gifts for herself. Take her out to eat if you can. Get her something personal (snuggly stuff) and put some effort into finding something special. Listen to what God says, Husbands love your wives.
And you wives remember what the Bible says, forgive seventy times seven. 

Good luck,
Randy Benedetto

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